Always been a funny day for years. It’s my Dad's birthday and over the years it became the event we celebrated rather then Christmas. That was until Mum died and both now get overlooked and we try and move on swiftly to the next year and look forward to Spring.
We often got together and as a child I remember a week of celebration from Christmas Day until New Year with visitors, visits and small gifts on every day. It was quite a good time as I remember it, not grumpy or in suspension like other times.
It's difficult now - we all think about Mum most of the time but I guess it is Dad who feels the loss more than anyone else. He sits in that house on his own talking to her every day when he changes the date on the calendar in the hallway. His friend moving away has just put the spotlight on what he has lost more than ever.
I find this time of year a struggle - due mainly to the dark mornings and short days. At least getting out and walking the dog means I get more daylight than I used to but over the last week I have had some very dark thoughts and I think that is due to so little happening and so little company.
A good walk at Gibside today helped the mood and some home cooking of shortbread and chocolate cookies. The shortbread is lovely but the cookies and more like cakes taste nice but not as crunchy as I would have expected. Think we made them too thick - bit too generous with the dough. Never mind - satisfying though and yummy!!
Anyway onward and upward....